Defining Boundaries, ex. 1

CA = Client A   LC = Life Coach

11-02-2016 06:09

LC   I mean specifically that I was letting u know that ur stuff about “don’t let me keep u awake” was infringing on my personal boundaries.  Which, over here, only means so let’s talk about it.  And over there!

By the way, over here, there are no 12-year-old’s “rules”.  There are guidelines and boundaries, and appropriate discussion about them as they may need adjusting, and nothing fixed in brimstone, so to speak.

CA  Has nothing to do about me” trying to manipulate you”.   I’m not and I believe you don’t think that either.  It’s so much more complicated than that. Ugh…  I just can’t at this time discuss it with you. I know it’s not right and I know it’s not the adult thing to do, but the outcome in my thoughts at least could be so significant that at this time that outweighs the rest.   Please be patient with me on this. I know it’s asking a lot and I just need more time to think about how to handle this.

LC   Remember, boundaries are not a “thing” or a set of “rules” with a chart for how many demerits each infraction gets, and a total amount that means Go Straight To Hell…

Boundaries are an interpersonal event, an ongoing negotiation the way dancing is.

CA  Ok. Thanks for the reminder.  That does really help. Let me think some more on this. I love you and appreciate you. I just don’t want to say or do anything that might damage our relationship in any way shape or form.  And yes, I know trust is the key. I know.  God, I do know that for a fact.  Ughhhhh!

LC   Good.  And sorry, short of trying to stab me with a butcher knife or setting my house on fire,  you can’t do anything to damage our relationship in the way u think u can. That u believe u can is part of the same lack of boundary thing….U don’t get to choose whether I kick u out or not–nor I you…

So good…At least we’ve got you back dancing with the partner that’s actually there–ur ambivalence via the child/PA about whether u can trust that I’m not just another repeat of hx…And I have u as next on my dance card when ur up to it!

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