>> Example of An Unconscious Psychological Defense

CA = Client A    LC = Life Coach


CA  …I know I chose poor wording last night. That’s what happens when you’re caught up in the moment.  So, I apologize for that.  Thank you for being such a wonderful, loving, caring, patient and just all around beautiful human being! I had no idea until I met u that it was even possible to even be like this.

LC   Well  thank you! And u are very welcome.  By the way, what you were saying, you didn’t “just choose bad wording” when you put it the way you did the first time by putting your choice [to not talk] off on taking care of me.  You were avoiding the risk of saying what you eventually said honestly. No?

And I doubt you made that choice consciously, although you may have. And it wouldn’t have to have been conscious. In any event, it wasn’t simply random that you spoke those words rather than what you eventually spoke honestly.

CA  Yes.  You may be right

LC   And the reason I point this out so explicitly is not simply to “rub your nose in it”. It is to make explicit the power of unconscious motivation so that you can appreciate it for what it is, and not simply be subject to it’s power out of ignorance

CA  I hope u have a very successful day! I love you and thanks for being so understanding and just hanging in here with me. I really appreciate it more than u know

LC   Ur very welcome.  Nice to have such a hard working and loving colleague.

CA   Ditto my friend ditto!  By the way, I understand ur last statement.  About the ignorance of it.

LC   Good!  Because remember. The whole purpose of a psychological defense is EXACTLY that ignorance.